Your Name is....

What is your name? Your name identifies you. It may not have much of a meaning but that is you, what people call you, and how you see yourself.

My name is Lydiana. When I was little my mom used to tell me to act like a lady ( when I was not!) and I'd say, I'm not a lady, I'm Lydiana. I have always very ME, Lydiana. I'm me.


But not too long ago...I got renamed. Yep! I got a new name! I still struggle a little bit with accepting my new name and identity. Sometimes, I do not feel old enough or ready...I'm not done having Lydiana adventures. Who renamed me. Actually, it was this kid.

And then this one...

AND this one really sealed it...made it bold and big and ALL caps! 

Are guessing by now what my new name is? If you haven't, and maybe I myself hadn't figured it out, Wade enlightened me one day. We were doing the, what's your name game. I asked him, what is my name. He said, "Your name is MAMA!" I said,  no it's Lydiana, he said " no your name is Mama". 

I don't know why it hit me then. Yea. My name IS Mama. Not Lydiana anymore. I will be called Mama more than Lydiana and to those that really matter in life. I'm MAMA. 

I wanted to wait a couple years before adding kids to our home after Isaac and I married. God had other plans obviously...three times had OTHER plans! There is ONE thing that I feel deep inside working in me, and I hate it- dying to myself. Dying to Lydiana. Dying to me. Being Mama to Wade, Ben and Eliana, and wife and friend to Isaac. 

Does MAMAness overwhelm any of you? I am sure it does! By now I have figured out what we all do at some time in our life. I'm not unique, I'm not special. Everyone struggles with the same things...in unique individual ways, true. :) 

Hmmm...so what am I going to do? Well, I'm here :) I'm going to learn to love, embrace and rock out my new name! With God's help, because, well, today, I think I kinda failed the 1st part of the day. But, I still have the other half! 

AND I had to post this one because it made me laugh out loud!

Yea I kept them alive! lol...I hope I do more than just that! 

♥