Relearning Lessons in New Ways

There are those challenges that come up between a husband and wife. Its not that there are problems between them...its just they are people =)

When we were young XD hahahaha! ( as in "it was just us!")

Its funny how when one of us says something in not the best of ways, perhaps in not the best attitude, and that triggers a negative response from the other. It seems it's the one's weakness that causes the spark that ignites the other's weakness, and then, like dominoes, patience and long suffering fall. What does a wife or husband do when the weakness of the other is what causes one's weakness to show its face? And perhaps, that is how it is, weakness poking weakness, sin causing more sin, provoking our self to seek itself and its natural earthly response. And that only causes more conflict, or may even cause a non-conflict to become a conflict.

I don't think any marriage is without this reality. Its not going to go away, but! =) this is not unfortunate. Rather these are the opportunities God gives for us to grow in self denial, in love, in sacrifice, in humility.

I have been praying about this. When one realizes that one's natural way of responding is only making something small big, then it's obvious one's missing something. And I found my answer today =)
I KNOW this stuff...but sometimes knowing isn't enough. Sometimes it doesn't click. And, it takes time for things to click.

So this is what I got: Choosing my  response rather than going with the flow of my feelings. If the flow is not beneficial, then I must choose against it and act upon my choice with the right, or better response. like I said, I knew this, I know this, but it clicked today, in my head. I haven't received an opportunity to practice, but, it set in my mind and heart clearer.

(that Wade smile!)

Here is a short excerpt from the blog I found my answer from;) It's another mom/wife blogger.

" It's the easy and natural thing to be offended when someone is offensive. To be rude and short with people who treat us in a similar way. BUT, what if in that moment, we were stable as a person and saw the "offender" as someone who NEEDS MORE LOVE and understanding."

If at the moment of the offense, the offended feels love for the other person rather self stinging because the other person is being unreasonable, or annoying, or demanding, or whatever else can fill in the blank, the response would be different. It would be one of mercy and grace. We, spouses, need to grasp those moments as opportunities to choose to love the other, when the other one is a little less lovely. When we feel the sting, we need to train ourselves to take it as a trigger to stop and think, and then, respond by showing the other person love and grace. In those moments, we need to see that the other person needs more love, not an equal response. We need to give more love, and cover the offense. It's a 100%/100% not 50%/50%.

While we were yet sinners, Christ loved us. While we were yet an offense, Christ embraced us. Likewise, while our spouse is yet offending, demanding, boring, overwhelming, etc, let us embrace them with a heart of love expressed by our actions and words.

So that is what I have been thinking about =) Believe me, it's not that Isaac had been difficult! It's that we, he and I, are two fallen human being living together =D And things come up, and I want to be a blessing to my husband and my children and then everyone else, if possible. And above all, I want God's name to be blessed because of my life, living in obedience to God's call.

God's blessed me with such an easy man to love! I have no complaint...just my humanness and his do get a little in the way sometimes =) That's life. That's okay. It's just an opportunity to die a little more, to grow a little closer to God and each other, to grow in love and mercy and forgiveness. It's our walk on this earth. And it's amazing that God walks it with us too =)

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Felt like writing (obviously!) but now I need to stop and go to sleep. Wade's an early riser O.- Wish he wasn't! He wakes me up every morning calling for me to get him out of bed. I'll miss that voice one day I'm sure!